


Salty, Spicy, and Sweet

by AdorableDisaster



Series: The world needs more Rowdy 3. [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Amanda asks the Rowdy 3 about their appetites., Discussion of non-con, Emotions have flavors, Feeding, Fluff, Headcanon, Martin drives better when he's anxious, Other, Sex Talk, Teen for Discussion topic, The Rowdy 3 are surprisingly good at communication., Van talks, Vogel is adorable, everyone keeps their clothes on.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 21:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11563692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorableDisaster/pseuds/AdorableDisaster
Summary: “So, you guys can feed off more than just fear?”“Yep yep!” Vogel was usually the first to answer a question, even if he didn’t always know the answer to it.“Most high intensity emotions give us something.” Cross picked at his nails with a knife.“Different flavor profiles.”  Gripps rolled a bat across his thighs.“Flavor profiles?”  Amanda laughed. “Watch a little Food Network at your last smash?”





	Salty, Spicy, and Sweet

**Author's Note:**

> These works are in a series mostly for some continuity, and to help people find the concept of the flavors without having to explain it in every fic. The "part" number that they are does not correspond to their timeline, it's simply the order in which I wrote and uploaded them. Chronoligcally, this is how my headcanon works, but I'm open to suggestion/interpretation;  
> Salty, Spicy, and Sweet is #1.  
> Good Mornings, Good Nights is #2.  
> You Taste like Strawberries is #3.  
> Bleedin' Badass is outside of the timeline - it fits kinda anywhere.  
> And Mother of Rowdies (I really need a better title...) is at the end of the list probably. I don't really have an updating schedule for that one, so it'll happen as I think of it.
> 
> Regardless of the order, they mostly work as stand alone fics, and I hope you enjoy them. My sincere thanks for reading!

“So, you guys can feed off more than just fear?”

“Yep yep!” Vogel was usually the first to answer a question, even if he didn’t always know the answer to it. 

“Most high intensity emotions give us something.” Cross picked at his nails with a knife.

“Different flavor profiles.” Gripps rolled a bat across his thighs. 

“Flavor profiles?” Amanda laughed. “Watch a little Food Network at your last smash?”

“Sometimes we save the TV for last!” Vogel wiggled. “Sometimes I forget.” 

Amanda smiled at him. He was sweet, and honest, in a really wild and, well, Rowdy way. 

“Fear is the easiest.” Martin’s voice rolled out of the driver’s seat. It was rough from years of cigarettes and howling. It slid over Amanda’s skin in a way that made her tingle. It felt like that toy you always had in your science class, you know, the one made of a hundred little nails that you took turns pressing your hand, or toes, or face into? It almost hurt but not quite? Yea, Martin’s voice felt like that, but all over.

“Easiest?”

Heads nodded. Martin’s eyes met hers in the rear-view window, but the leader of the pack only grunted. He did that a lot. 

“So, what does an emotion taste like?”

“Fear is salty!” Vogel piped up again. 

“No, it’s like fried chicken.” Cross licked his lips.

“That can be salty.” Vogel was occasionally petulant. He truly excelled in his role as “little brother” of the 3. 

Amanda looked at Gripps for his input. The other man simply shrugged. “Dunno. Ask me another.” 

“Anger?”

“Spicy.” Vogel and Cross said together. “Like curry and cayenne.” Gripps elaborated. He must be the one who asked to save the TV for last.

“What else…” Amanda mused out loud.

“Lust!” Vogel offered, a glint in his eyes. The other two in the back with them smiled, but did not offer anything more. 

Amanda’s heart scratched like a needle on a record. “Lust is an emotion?”

“Isn’t it?” That was Cross, she thought. Suddenly her hands were very interesting. It had been a long, long time since she’d felt that emotion, at least when another real person was involved and not just a long night with her high speed internet and music videos of Dave Navarro. 

“I guess it is.” She cleared her throat. The boys were always honest with her. Why should she be surprised that they were more than willing to talk about lust and sex? “And,” might as well know, “how does that taste?”

Vogel actually giggled a bit before answering this time. “Sweet.” He closed his eyes and rolled his back against the wall of the van. “Like funnel cake and cotton candy.” 

The other two smiled again. Their eyes were soft as they looked at her. Feeding from emotions meant you could feel them pretty astutely, and her discomfort would be fairly obvious even to someone who wasn’t a psychic vampire at this point. 

Amanda risked a glance at the rear view mirror, but Martin’s eyes were firmly on the road. His hands were at 10 and 2, and he came to a full stop at the light, like a model citizen.

“Okay so we’ve got sweet, spicy, and salty.” She cleared her throat again. “Sounds like some nice variety.

Vogel nodded, hair flopping over his eyes.

“Do you ever get a mix?” She pictured the shop clerk at the last gas station they’d encountered.

“Oh sure!” Vogel crossed his legs and wrapped his hands onto his knees. “People can be mad and scared all at the same time, especially when you’re smashing their stuff!” His eyes gleamed. “Hot sauce on chicken ‘n’ waffles!” 

Amanda started to smile, but a chilling though gripped her heart. Three pairs of eyes turned to her at once, feeling her shift. 

“What about…” How was she supposed to ask this? Smashing up a storefront or a car was one thing. Most people had insurance, and she’d seen the commercials - some folks might even get a nicer car after the Rowdy 3 rearranged their headlights. But, what about the other… emotion? Did they ever try to force… “lust”? Was that even possible? Breaking mailboxes and snack machines was one thing. She wasn’t sure she could stay in this van for one more mile if the boys were guilty of, well. “Do you ever try to mix the other one…?” 

“No.” Martin’s response was clipped and definite. His still faced forward, hands still on the wheel, speedometer oddly close to the legal limit. “Never.” Her eyes met his in the rear view mirror for less than a second, but it was enough. Relief washed over Amanda in a wave she was sure the rest of the 3 could feel. They visibly relaxed against the metal walls, old carpet, and beanbag chair, respectively. 

“Well, not technically never.” Vogel’s voice was clear, his tone open and candid. 

Amanda’s head snapped to face him, even as she heard a low growl coming from the driver’s seat. “What?”

“Well, some people are into that, you know?” He shrugged. “When they want it, when it’s the right kind, well… sea salt and caramel. Or, salted pretzels in dark chocolate.” 

Amanda was pretty sure Vogel was purring. She glanced at the other two, and they didn’t exactly nod, but no one disagreed either. 

“It’s gotta be right” was all she heard from the black man in the sagging chair. 

Cross did nod then, agreeing with his brothers. “Honey on good cheese.”

“Right?” So… they needed consent to scare someone in sex? Amanda had heard of safewords and limits and all that from a few choice videos in the backroom of the video store that was one of the few places she used to be able to walk to. And then, well, you know there’s this thing called the internet. That answered the rest of her questions pretty quick.

There was a grunt from the front seat. Martin was speeding again. Somehow, that made Amanda feel better.

“Right.” Vogel agreed. “Otherwise, it’s all wrong.” He shook his head slowly, like there was a tune only he could hear. “Wrong like a burned cookie.” His face scrunched into a grimace. 

“No one wants that.” She said to fill the silence as she attempted to understand. 

“No one.” Martin’s voice rolled over her again. There was that tingle. She watched the other 3 nod, both in obedience to the Alpha and in obvious agreement. 

Okay. So, the Rowdy 3 were not rapists. Fucking fantastic. She was both upset that the conversation had to be had, but glad that it had happened. Not that she’d been rushing to defend their actions to anyone asking, but at least she felt that she understood them better.

“Thanks.” Amanda looked at Vogel. “Your descriptions really helped little ol’ human me understand what you’re up to with the whole, feeding, thing.” 

His face shone under her gratitude and approval. She gave a half-smile to the other guys in the back too. They nodded, letting Vogel bask in her attention a bit.

Amanda pulled a joint from her pocket and rolled the end in her fingers. 

“Hey Gripps!” Vogel rocked up onto his knees. “Wanna have a Heatbutt Staring Contest?!”

“Bring it little man.” The other Rowdy one assumed the same kneeling position. He opened his eyes wide and the two men knocked their skulls into each other with a sickening thud. Amanda winced and reared back. When she opened her eyes, she had to laugh at the two boys with their foreheads and noses pressed together, eyes opened wide and unblinking. This was a new game since their encounter with the Black Wing agents. Martin had probably not expected to be a trend setter.

“Uh, I’ll give you two some space.”

“Good call.” Cross chuckled from his spot in the back corner of the van. 

Amanda pivoted and made her way to the passenger’s seat. Martin blew through a stop sign and gave the finger to a school bus full of children. Amanda couldn’t help but laugh. She tucked the joint back into her shirt pocket and buckled herself in. 

Martin watched her hands adjust the nylon strap and smooth the folds from her third-day jeans. He nodded when he heard the click of the buckle.

“Safety first, drummer girl.” 

There were those tingles again. Those sweet, sweet tingles.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, friends! Please let me know if any other tags are needed.  
> I agree with the others who've said there's far too little Rowdy 3 fic on here. Please feel free to comment with suggestions, corrections, or prompts. I feed on attention ^.^


End file.
